We Need Friends

Who are friends?

The dictionary definitions can be many:

A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

A person who is an intimate associate; close acquaintance.

Friends can be in person or online, your next-door neighbour can be a friend or a friend 1,000 miles away. Often, a friend is someone you trust or enjoy being around.

But then some people might be heard saying – We must have good friends.

So, who is a good friend?

A good friend walks the talk and shows that they care by their actions – big and small.

Research has shown that the better the quality of your relationships, the more likely you are to be happy. So, being a great friend to someone and having friends support your back is good for your wellbeing. But what, exactly, makes a good friend?

But sometimes people say friends are partners in crime. But are such people really friends? We read in the newspapers that a few friends committed a crime together. Is it really friendship? A friend should be someone who should help you rise in life. A person who should be a partner in your upliftment. A person who can dare to stop you from taking a wrong path in life.

We are taught a lot of things in our educational institutions but nobody teaches us to make friends or say good friends. We must choose our friends but how? This knowledge can prove to be an asset wherever a person goes. Our innocence helps to make friends in childhood but as we grow older and leave homes for higher studies or jobs, it gets really tough. As a result of lack of this knowledge, we are unable to socialize in new surroundings and feel lonely.

Today I am going to share views on how to find a good friend or how you can be a good friend to someone. I believe all of you are ready to note them down. So, let’s get started. If you need to pause the podcast to note down, please do that.

A good friend is someone who

• is there for you, no matter what
• doesn’t judge you
• doesn’t put you down or deliberately hurt your feelings
• is kind and respectful to you
• is someone whose company you enjoy
• is loyal
• is trustworthy and willing to tell you the truth, even when it’s hard for you to hear
• laughs with you
• sticks around when things get tough
• makes you smile
• is there to listen
• comforts you when you cry.

How to be a good friend

If you treat the people around you in the ways described above, then you’re already a good friend to them. But it’s not always easy to know how to be there for your friends.

Listen to them
Try to understand a situation from your friend’s point of view. Ask questions to get a sense of the problem or issue, but the main thing is to listen to them. You don’t have to have all the answers, and don’t assume that your friend wants advice – they might just want to talk so that they can work it out for themselves.

Get the facts
If your friend has a medical or mental health issue, a good way to offer support is to learn about what they’ve been diagnosed with. Being interested in what they’re going through shows you care, and that you plan to stick around no matter what’s going on.

Ask them what they need
If you’re worried about someone and you want to be there for them, ask them what they need. You’ll then know what they find helpful during tough times, and you can offer them support in a way that’s genuinely helpful.

Get physical
If you’re a hugger, ask your friend whether it’d be okay to hug them. Once you get the thumbs up, hug away! Hugging your friends can be a great way to show you care for them. Physical contact can be comforting, especially when someone feels alone. 

Keep in touch
Even if you don’t live nearby, show your friends you’re there for them by making an effort to keep in regular touch through social media, texts or calls.

Tell them how you feel
You don’t have to make a big deal about it all the time, but you can make a real difference to how someone is feeling just by letting them know how important they are to you. So, go for it!

Be willing to make a tough call
If you think your friend’s safety is at risk, you might need to act without their consent and get help. It can be a tough call, particularly when you’re worried about how they’ll react, but remember that good friends care enough to step up, and that you’re doing it to protect them from harm.

Why is loneliness in young adults so prevalent today?

 Recent research shows that experiencing loneliness in your 20s is near the top of the list of challenges for both Generation Z and millennials. Despite all the latest communication technologies, the relationship between loneliness and young people is growing stronger as many young adults feel a growing sense of isolation.

Although society is more connected than ever before by social media and mobile devices, today’s young people lack the intimacy of face-to-face human interaction

Ironically, research on the behaviour of these plugged-in generations reveals that technology is a big part of the problem. Indeed, many researchers and mental health professionals believe that the omnipresent nature of social media and the constant availability of online communication lie at the root of the issue. It seems that virtual connections are preventing more authentic real-life connections.

A young adult might have thousands of Facebook friends and Twitter followers, and yet still experience painful isolation in real life. A 2018 University of Pennsylvania study states that there are greater feelings of loneliness among people who use social media more frequently. Thus, staring at their mobile devices rather than interacting with other human beings may increase loneliness in your 20s and beyond.

There are proven ways to reduce loneliness in your 20s. Here are a few strategies for young adults to try:

• Limit social media use. A 2018 Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology article revealed that cutting down usage of Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat led to “significant reductions in loneliness and depression over three weeks compared to the control group.”
• Spend time volunteering. Research shows that doing things for others offers mental and physical health benefits.
• Cultivate authentic connections. Real-life friendships may need a bit more tending to than virtual ones, but the payoff will be worth it in terms of counteracting loneliness.
• Get involved. Connect with others by doing things you enjoy. For example, take a dance or art class, join a sports club, or get involved with a campaign for a cause you care about.
• Visit a therapist. Working with a mental health professional can help young adults pinpoint causes of loneliness.

Having good friends who love and support you for who you are is really important for your happiness. Figure out what makes a good friend, and learn how you can be there for your friends when they need you most. This will bring happiness to your lives and you can excel in your life where-ever you live.